Goals = choice + behaviour(action) + habit(repeat) + compounded(time)
Happiness = Health + Wealth + Wisdom
Health = Exercise + Diet + Sleep Exercise = High Intensity Training + Cardio + Regularity Diet = Natural Foods + Occasional Fasting + Plants Sleep = 7-9 Hours of Sleep + Circadian Rhythm
Wealth = Savings + Investments + Assets Savings = 10-20% Monthly Income * ROI Investments = 10-20% Monthly Income * ROI Assets = Estate Property + Intellectual Property + Skills
Wisdom = Knowledge + Experience + Tranquility Knowledge = Books + Lateral Thinking + Intellectual Curiosity Experience = Travel + Friends + Get out of comfort zone Tranquility = Self-control + Introspection + Perspective
After a rejection, do you feel judged, bitter, and vengeful? Or do you feel hurt, but hopeful of forgiving, learning, and moving on? Think of the worst rejection you ever had. Get in touch with all the feelings, and see if you can view it from a growth mindset. What did you learn from it? Did it teach you something about what you want and don't want in your life? Did it teach you some positive things that were useful in later relationships? Can you forgive that person and wish them well? Can you let go of the bitterness? * Picture your ideal love relationship. Does it involve perfect compatibility-no disagreements, no compromises, no hard work? Please think again. In every relationship, issues arise. Try to see them from a growth mindset: Problems can be a vehicle for developing greater understanding and intimacy. Allow your partner to air his or her differences, listen carefully, and discuss them in a patient and caring manner. You may be surprised at the closeness this creates. * Are you a blamer like me? It's not good for a relationship to pin everything on your partner. Create your own Maurice and blame him instead. Better yet, work toward curing yourself of the need to blame. Move beyond thinking about fault and blame all the time. Think of me trying to do that too. * Are you shy? Then you really need the growth mindset. Even if it doesn't cure your shyness, it will help keep it from messing up your social interactions. Next time you're venturing into a social situation, think about these things: how social skills are things you can improve and how social interactions are for learning and enjoyment, not judgment. Keep practicing this. Messages About Success Listen for the messages in the following examples: "You learned that so quickly! You're so smart! "Look at that drawing. Martha, is he the next Picasso or what? If you're like most parents, you hear these as supportive, esteem-boosting messages. But listen more closely. See if you can hear another message. It's the one that children hear: If I don't learn something quickly, I'm not smart. I shouldn't try drawing anything hard or they'll see I'm no Picasso. Praising children's intelligence harms their motivation and it harms their performance. Being praised for my intelligence rather than my efforts, and slowly but surely I developed an aversion to difficult challenges. Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence-like a gift-by praising their brains and talent. It doesn't work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. keep away from a certain kind of praise-praise that judges their intelligence or talent. The great teachers believe in the growth of the intellect and talent, and they are fascinated with the process of learning. Every word and action from parent to child sends a message. Tomorrow, listen to what you say to your kids and tune in to the messages you're sending. Are they messages that say: You have permanent traits and I'm judging them? Or are they messages that say You're a developing person and I'm interested in your development? * How do you use praise? Remember that praising children's intelligence or talent, tempting as it is, sends a fixed-mindset message. It makes their confidence and motivation more fragile. Instead, try to focus on the processes they used-their strategies, effort, or choices. Practice working the process praise into your interactions with your children. * Watch and listen to yourself carefully when your child messes up. Remember that constructive criticism is feedback that helps the child understand how to fix something. It's not feedback that labels or simply excuses the child. At the end of each day, write down the constructive criticism (and the process praise) you've given your kids. * Parents often set goals their children can work toward. Remember that having innate talent is not a goal. Expanding skills and knowledge is. Pay careful attention to the goals you set for your children. * If you're a teacher, remember that lowering standards doesn't raise students' self-esteem. But neither does raising standards without giving students ways of reaching them. The growth mindset gives you a way to set high standards and have students reach them. Try presenting topics in a growth framework and giving students process feedback. I think you'll like what happens. * Do you think of your slower students as kids who will never be able to learn well? Do they think of themselves as permanently dumb? Instead, try to figure out what they don't understand and what learning strategies they don't have. Remember that great teachers believe in the growth of talent and intellect, and are fascinated by the process of learning. * Are you a fixed-mindset coach? Do you think first and foremost about your record and your reputation? Are you intolerant of mistakes? Do you try to motivate your players through judgment? That may be what's holding up your athletes. Try on the growth mindset. Instead of asking for mistake-free games, ask for full commitment and full effort. Instead of judging the players, give them the respect and the coaching they need to develop. * As parents, teachers, and coaches, our mission is developing people's potential. Let's use all the lessons of the growth mindset-and whatever else we can-to do this. When you learn new things, these tiny connections in the brain actually multiply and get stronger. The more that you challenge your mind to learn, the more your brain cells grow. the journey to a (true) growth mindset Embrace your fixed mindset. We're all a mixture of growth and fixed mindsets and we need to acknowledge that. Become aware of your fixed-mindset triggers. It could be when you're thinking about taking on a big, new challenge. If we're managers, what happens during and after a big project? Do we judge our employees' talent? Now give your fixed-mindset persona a name. Every one of us has a journey to take. * It starts by accepting that we all have both mindsets. * Then we learn to recognize what triggers our fixed mindset. Failures? Criticism? Deadlines? Disagreements? * And we come to understand what happens to us when our fixed-mindset "persona is triggered. Who is this persona? What's its name? What does it make us think, feel, and do? How does it affect those around us? * Importantly, we can gradually learn to remain in a gr